hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
