I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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