That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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