After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
