I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
