The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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