your room smells of hookers.
And success
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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