Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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