Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
