I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
