some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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