i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
