You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
