I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
