I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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