Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping

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(201): View more from New Jersey

my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"

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(303): View more from Colorado

i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?

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(647): View more from Ontario

He was the one that got away. From my vagina.

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(760): View more from California

Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!

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