Cold hands, warm shart.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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