Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
