I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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