I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
