can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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