You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My breasts were aching with rage.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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