I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
