you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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