Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
