mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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