Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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