That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
