walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
