Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
