I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
