Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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