You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
