the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
