You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
