I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
