that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
