There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
