hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Randomize