What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
