I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He felt like a one man threesome
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize