And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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