TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
