I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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