cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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