So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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