We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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