I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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