i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
