you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
