i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
