You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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