Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
