Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
