They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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