ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
