i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
