I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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