he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
