he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize