we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
