I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
my liver is dry heaving
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
