she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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